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Brookers, you suck.

And I was afraid the All Your Base phenomenon was a silly fad…

Say you’re a cute blonde chick. Say you have a DV camera like millions of other ‘Net users out there. Say you set up a crappy profile on MySpace and signed up for an account on YouTube.
And say you saw the Numa Numa video back in freaking 2004 like the rest of us.

And say your name is Brookers.

So apparently, you then say, to yourself, “Hey, I could do that too!”

So far, so good. You’re right, you could do that too. But all you would deserve for proving you can flail your arms about in a pathetic attempt to parody a joke video, is a big fat freaking yawn.

But it looks like you did it anyway. And apparently because you have boobs, because nothing else about your videos is remarkable, some idiots in the entertainment industry are going to hire you to produce more of this crap?! What the hell is going on here? When I was made aware that there were other videos, I was a little hopeful. Maybe the other ones weren’t just lame ripoffs of a cute cult nerd classic. Boy, was I WRONG. They’re the same crap! Just this chick in front of a camera! Back in the day (when she was about 13) there was a name for this. It’s called CAMWHORE. See it’s a combination of the word CAMERA and ATTENTION WHORE.

I speak for all sane and normal humans when I say that we don’t need you wasting bandwidth with your face on the internet. Yeah, you’re cute. I don’t care. Hell, I hate the fact that you’re cute. It just makes stupid people give you far more credit than you deserve.

As for the rest of you, you million people who have watched this crap on YouTube, you should be ashamed of yourselves!! What the hell?! Go get a g-d damned JOB! Go VOTE! Go LEARN SOME STUFF for the love of Pete! What the hell are you doing? So now ANY OLD halfway decent looking chick dancing around and being stupid qualifies as entertainment? OH WAIT, you’re probably the same IDIOTS responsible for the current batch of crap that’s currently passing for prime time TV. Oh well. I guess Brookers belongs with the other morons on MTV. It’s not like you will ever catch me dead or alive with my dial tuned to that wasteland anyway.

By: Dan Pritchard
Tue Jul 4 2006 11:23 pm
in Journal
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9 Responses to “Brookers, you suck.” »»

noone

Comment by noone | 07/14/06 at 11:37 am

I completely and totally agree. Brookers sucks!

She just lip synchs without adding anything clever or absurd to make it funny. A better actress or comedic talent would be able to pull it off, but her videos end up just being lame and boring. A total waste of bandwidth.

I was so disgusted when I heard about her deal with Carson Daly that I actually googled for “brookers sucks”, and found this page.

If her videos are a sign of what’s to come, her new show is going to stink like a turd too.
noone 2

Comment by noone 2 | 07/16/06 at 7:08 pm

Well, u seem big hiding behind that screen of yours making a website hating on her. Shes actually doing something now. Your not, besides of course, hiding behind your screen making this stupid website about her. Obviously your just jealous. Cause she is actually on MTV and your not. Im sure you would like to be on MTV doing what shes doing. Heck, Im sure that you would even kill to be her. Be in her shoes. But on youtube, you can hate all you want, but the 600,000 veiws on her movies are hating right back. And im sure that those 600,000 veiwers are gonna like her videos. But i gotta give credit to the haters(as yourself) about 10000 of the viewers are haters. Then Im sure the rest are her fans who find her hilarous. And im also sure that if she was a hit on youtube, im sure shes gonna make the big bucks cause if shes a hit on youtube, her fans off of youtube, which are about more then half of the youtubers, are gonna vote for her. And that will probably keep her show on the air. So what if shes cute also. Im sure that half the people in this world are cute too. You might even be cute. (WHO KNOWS?) but thats no reason to hate her. Shes just a person who has more confidence and charisma then alot of people (probably even you, considering ur behind a screen talking crap about her). And you may even like her show. The one shes making on MTV. Yeah, you may like it. So dont hate. It makes you look pointless and dull cause u dont have a sence of humour like alot of her fans. You are just boringgggggggggggggg.
noone 2

Comment by noone 2 | 07/16/06 at 7:09 pm

And im sure you wont approve of that comment, cause u know im right.
Dan Pritchard

Comment by Dan Pritchard | 07/17/06 at 8:40 am

Hey “noone2″. What makes you think I’m “hiding behind a screen”? Last I checked, I put my name behind my blog and don’t sign my comments as “noone 2″ from haha@sbcglobal.net. Maybe you’re the one who’s hiding.

Is it because I don’t choose to make videos of myself lipsynching and post them on YouTube? This isn’t out of a desire to hide. It’s out of a knowledge that our society used to have that people have something better to do than watch that type of crap. I choose not to make a video and put it on YouTube because my daily activities are not interesting enough. And neither are Brookers’. And dude, I wanted to like her. Especially when I found out she was from Massachusetts—The New England girls I’ve met have been fascinating and intelligent unlike the California girls I grew up with. But I’m afraid lipsynching songs is still not exactly entertainment, not when you’re just copying other people. That guy was original. It was funny the first time. It’s not funny when Brookers does the same thing.

And to address most of your comment that seemed positive that I was jealous: Hilarious. No, I would not do a show for MTV. Not even if they paid me well. First, I have an enjoyable life and I love what I do. Second, MTV is the biggest sack of shit ever, and has been since the late nineties (when Brookers was in 2nd grade or so). All their shows are targeted at the shallowest urges of the shallowest human beings on the planet—the typical teenager. And it doesn’t appear that they are growing out of the shallowness after high school, either. I guess it makes perfect sense that Brookers is exactly the type of chick they’d want.
Let me boil this down: MTV is turning your brain into jelly. That’s an obvious explanation for the fact that you think Brookers staring into a camera, saying stupid shit, and lipsyncing, is “hilarious.” Which, by the way, only one of us can spell.

Peace out,

-DP
Tia

Comment by Tia | 07/22/06 at 6:44 pm

It amused me that you implied her breasts were “remarkable.” heh.

When you first set this up, I didn’t think you’d write it in more than LJ because the principle is the same, so I never added it. I was wrong and now I will. Doesn’t that make you happy?

-TIa
Dan Pritchard

Comment by Dan Pritchard | 07/22/06 at 6:51 pm

Tia—
Lol, that’s not exactly an implication I was going for, but it is funny.

Thanks for reading it!

-dp
Tommy

Comment by Tommy | 07/24/06 at 10:19 pm

Fuck you, identity thief.
Dan Pritchard

Comment by Dan Pritchard | 07/24/06 at 10:22 pm

Um, who the hell are you, Tommy?
Ramon (Spain)

Comment by Ramon (Spain) | 05/06/07 at 5:08 am

You´r reason, Dan, she´s so cute. But she´s talented too … and very fine girl, she has a nice personality and make excelent videos. Sorry.

Brookers, you suck.

9 Responses to “Brookers, you suck.” »»

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